The Difference Between 'Who You Are' And 'How You Feel' - Moment 35
How I overcame sadness and loneliness (pt 1)
“As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.”
— Charlie Chaplin
Feelings are simply data that spring up from our emotions. According to science, there are about 27 categories of emotions with the major 4 being: Happiness, Sadness, Anxiety, and Fear. If you want to know the broader range of how feelings are categorized, you can check out the emotion wheel.
For the longest time, I bore the feelings of sadness and loneliness as an invisible tag on my neck and allowed it to define who I was as a person. I would say things like; "I'm depressed. I'm invisible. Nobody ever notices me, etc". And the more I made these confessions about myself, the more miserable I became.
In 2022, I decided I was fed up with the situation. I wanted emotional healing so bad I would do anything to get it. The first thing I did, was to watch videos and listen to podcasts on the topic, and boy I watched a ton! I'll drop the link to these materials at the end of this moment for those interested.
One thing that stood out boldly to me on my quest for emotional healing was the realization that "I am not what I feel and I am not my pain". I cried so hard when I heard this because that was my biggest mistake all along. The solution was simple. I had to learn how to separate my feelings from my identity and how did I achieve this?
Here are 3 points to help you understand the difference between who you are and how you feel.
Fluctuating Feelings, Rooted Identity
...for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession...
The truth is, regardless of what life has dealt you with, "you are who God said you are".
Whenever God talks about our identity, he talks about it in the past tense because it's a reality that has already been established, regardless of how you feel about your life and circumstances.
I love to use Jeremiah as an example. When Jeremiah got his calling from God, he presented his feelings as an excuse; he was afraid. But what did God say?
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”
Take note of the word, 'knew'. Everything about this guy was already past tense to God even though they were talking in his present.
Just because you experience low self-esteem or you're battling from depression or loneliness doesn't mean your identity is suffering from your feelings too.
God looks at you as "who you're supposed to be" not who you are. Your feelings can change a million times, but your identity won't.
Feelings Are Psychological, Identity Is Spiritual
Our feelings come from our emotions, and emotions are a result of past experiences. You can't argue that people's emotions are wrong because you don't feel the same way. The definition of emotions or feelings is subjective to the person experiencing them.
Your feelings are triggered when your brain's limbic system causes the release of certain hormones in response to the current event you are exposed to. Your brain decides which events are good, bad, or worse and these decisions happen in seconds which means you can switch from sad, to angry, to happy in a matter of minutes!
Whilst your feelings are psychological, your identity on the other hand is a spirit-derived factor.
It is not just a spirit-derived factor, it is derived by a spiritual being who is called "The unchangeable changer".
There are two people with the power to pervert the original design of God for your life.
The first person is you. The second is the devil, with your permission. That's shocking right?!
Yes. The enemy has no right to tamper with whatever God has declared about you, except if you believe his lies and start to speak them consistently to yourself. That is what happens when you embrace your feelings as your identity. You begin to shift your orientation into a sandy foundation.
Feelings Affect Actions, Decisions Affect Identity
If you're someone who lacks self-control, the way you feel at any given moment will determine the action you take. The actions you repeat consistently determine your behaviors and eventually, your personality.
Your identity does not change but the decisions you make today, determine if you will step into your true identity or move away from it. Remember you're the second person with the highest authority to determine what your life becomes after God.
Imagine a person who makes decisions in their life based on how they feel at any moment, such decisions will not be stable because as the feelings change... you get the point now.
This is a miserable way to live.
You need to get to the point where you take back control of your life. The point where you subject your feelings to training, heal from the hurt and baggage, and move into your calling.
Is that possible? Yes! And I'll show you how to do it next week.
Thank you for reading, liking, and sharing this moment.
Until then, be in charge of your emotions!
- GF
Resources That Helped My Healing Process: